Hate That You Know Me (So Well)
by LNC2
Summary: Adrien and Marinette discuss Chat Noir.


"Can I ask you a question?"

She was lying face down on his carpet so he was left to interpret the muffled "yrsfh". She hadn't said no to him yet so he gave in to precedence.

"Does Chat Noir know?"

Marinette didn't answer him right away so he leaned over the side of the couch to look down at her. She turned her face so it was no longer buried in his rug and one very blue, very wary eye peeked up at him.

"No," She whispered. "No one was supposed to know."

It had been like this for an hour now.

She seemed to still be coming out of shock. After all, it wasn't every day your classmate stumbles upon your biggest secret. Adrien wished, not for the first time, that he had chosen any other alley, if only to spare her whatever she was feeling right now.

"I'm sorry," He said, again.

She turned her face back into the carpet. "Snrt yr fawl."

And, really, it wasn't.

Not when he considered the increase in akuma attacks over the past few months or the fact that he and Marinette had been circling each other for over a year. In fact, Adrien was surprised that they hadn't stumbled upon each other transforming sooner.

It really was obvious now that he knew.

 _Of course_ , Ladybug was Marinette. There was no one else in Paris like her.

And if, after the warm, pink light faded, her startled eyes met his with anything but absolute _despair_ he wouldn't have hesitated pulling her to him.

As it was, he had still been reeling from the gunshock that was watching his beautiful classmate ( _had she really been so close_ ) transform into his beautiful partner, when she crumpled in on herself shaking _no, no, no, no_.

And when Adrien finally _did_ realize what was happening and started to move forward she was already up, fragile and broken and strong.

"Don't say a word."

Caught in the steel of her eyes he could only nod before she threw her yoyo up and out, vanishing from the alleyway.

There was, after all, an akuma.

And now, hours later, with the akuma purified, his kwami fed, and a distraught superheroine lying facedown on his bedroom floor, Adrien was at a loss.

Because by all rights he should tell her he was Chat Noir.

He knew it's what he would want, if their situations were reversed.

But there was something in the way she held herself when she appeared at his window this evening. A vulnerability he had never seen before.

For the first time since he'd known her, Ladybug looked small.

And Adrien couldn't bear to be the one to break her.

"I won't tell anyone," He said.

He'd repeated the words several times over the past hour. Sometimes loudly, sometimes teasing, always the truth. Marinette, as he was quickly learning, could run the gamut of emotions faster than anything he'd ever seen. Adrien never knew his lady could be so… expressive, but given the circumstances her distress was understandable.

However, after she'd exhausted herself into an anxious pile on the floor, she'd half-heartedly waved her hand in the air as if to say _well, out with it_ and Adrien realized she was yielding the floor to him. Figuratively, of course, as it seemed she wasn't going to be moving anytime soon.

Which is what eventually lead him here. To the only question that really mattered as he had watched Marinette hypothesize herself into tears, laughter, anger, tears, guilt, and exhaustion.

"Why haven't you told him yet?"

It was the heart of his dilemma. It was the heart of his heart, really. Ladybug had always insisted on keeping their identities a secret, no matter how close they had grown during their partnership. And at some point Adrien began to wonder where her concern for their safety ended and her need for distance began.

Was Chat Noir the reason for her walls?

Marinette sighed into the carpet. A long, body deep sigh that carried the weight of a city in its breath.

" _That_ is a very complicated question, Adrien Agreste." She murmured. She brought one of her hands up near her face to pluck at the stray fibers of his carpet. He watched her in silence, having learned from his earlier questions that if she was going to answer she would do it in her own time.

He tried to pretend that her answer wasn't everything.

Maybe it shouldn't have been this easy- seeing Marinette in Ladybug. Maybe he shouldn't have been so quick to accept it. After all, he had sworn up and down the Seine that he would know her by heartbeat if not by sight.

Spots or no spots.

Yet here she was, rim-red eyes and disheveled pigtails and wrinkled capris, almost completely unrecognizable and yet so very, very _her_. And even though both his eyes and heart had failed him they were eager to play catch up.

Marinette rolled over and stared up at the ceiling while he stared down at her.

"I didn't want to be Ladybug," She whispered. "Not at first. After Ivan was reakumatized… Well Tikki clearly got it wrong."

He couldn't let _that_ statement stand. He obviously wasn't doing his job as her partner if she still thought that about herself.

"No, she didn't. Marinette, you're _amazing_. Chat Noir knows that."

"Ah...well," She blushed. Her eyes briefly met his before skittering away. "Thank you. That's not… thanks."

It was an expression he was so used to seeing on Marinette but was completely foreign to Ladybug. His lungs clenched a little tighter as the familiar red creeped up her neck and turned her cheeks. _Oh_.

His fingers itched to reach out and touch her, but she exhaled, loudly, and shook her head as if to shake out her embarrassment.

"That's not… I didn't mean… I _don't_ feel that way anymore." Marinette said, sitting up and pulling her knees to her chest as she found her words. "I know I'm a good Ladybug."

A faint smirk, there and gone, was proof enough she believed it. Adrien ignored the way that brief smile hit his gut harder than any akuma ever had.

"Chat taught me that."

Okay, no, he took it back. The soft way she smiled as she said his name was _definitely_ the most painful thing he had ever experienced.

Which begged the question,

"So then why…?"

Marinette pursed her lips into a thin line and met his eyes, calculating. He had seen that look enough on his partner to know what it meant. Adrien could only hope that tonight 2 and 2 made for an honest answer.

"You're a model."

"Yes."

That statement didn't really need confirmation but he was eager to give her anything to keep her talking. Every thoughtful pause, every measured silence, was another opportunity for her to change her mind. And Adrien never wanted an answer more. If he could he would reach down her pretty throat and coax the words out himself.

"People have these ideas. About what you're like. What you should be." She paused, resting her head on her arms on her knees. "Being Ladybug is a lot like that."

"Marinette,"

"And that's fine, it's _good_ even because people need that. They need to think their heroes are invincible. But Chat…" Marinette sighed and fell back to the carpet. "Chat knows my flaws. Probably better than anyone."

"And that's a bad thing?"

She laughed.

"Chat is my partner. I trust him with my life. But he's reckless." She rolled over onto her side so she was looking up at him. He tried not to flinch at the earnestness in her expression. "Adrien, I don't know how to explain what it's like to have your best friend throw themselves in front of arrows and punches and literally _fade from existence_ because they were protecting you."

"When did-"

"I hate it," she whispered. "I hate every moment of it. Chat knows what I'm capable of more than anyone and he still takes the hits. I think… I _know_ that if he knew me without the mask… it's bad enough now when I'm supposedly invincible."

Her words were like a sudden burst of light in a very dark room.

He wanted to tell her she was wrong. That sharing her identity with Chat Noir would only strengthen their partnership. That knowing his brave, cunning, resourceful Ladybug was sweet, kind, blushing _Marinette_ wouldn't make him take unnecessary risks.

But he couldn't.

Not when just hours ago, reeling from the knowledge, he'd practically thrown himself on top of her to keep her safe. Not when every swing of her yoyo corresponded to the roiling in his gut as she went up and out and under and teased. Not when all he could see was the girl behind the mask hurling herself off of rooftops and running late to class and jumping onto an akuma's back and giggling with Alya.

Adrien never thought he was colorblind but suddenly red was pink and pink was red and he just couldn't stop himself from crying out, pulling her in, pushing her forward.

 _Reckless_.

And of course Ladybug, discerning, clever, insightful Marinette, would see that straight away.

"Adrien?" She reached out to touch his hand.

Miles away, he flinched and she pulled back as if he'd burned her.

"Ah," She said, her eyes widening as another blush crept up her neck. "Sorry. That was probably a lot."

"No!" He said, too loud, too affected.

Marinette's eyes were wide, very startled, a little amused.

 _Have her eyes always been this blue?_

Now it was his turn to blush.

He coughed, tried again. "I mean… no. It, ah, wasn't. Too much."

It absolutely was _not_ too much to hear his partner, his best friend, his soul-consuming crush read him like a deck of cards. Adrien always thought he knew Ladybug. It was only now occurring to him that she knew Chat Noir just as well.

"Yeah, it was." Marinette met his gaze with a tentative smile. "But thank you for listening anyways."

Adrien tried to swallow the butterflies rushing up his throat.

 _Oh no._

"Anytime," He choked.

* * *

A/N: *tosses story into the wind* These are the Ladrien vibes I dig. Possible inter-connected one-shots from here but we'll see.


End file.
